There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
