My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
