Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
