You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
