im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
