Little spoons don't ask big questions
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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