The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Randomize
