What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
