Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
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