You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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