Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I cut my penus on the lid.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
did you just send me my own nude
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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