I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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