I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
