I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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