i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
