What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
