If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
