How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Randomize
