Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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