I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
