I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
