Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
