Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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