no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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