GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
