none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Your mouth is God's brothel.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
