If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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