I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
