I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
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