Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I need water and some morals
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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