i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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