She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I CAN MOONWALK!
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
