There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
