youre lurking in front of me
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
