Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
