my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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