Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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