saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
