We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
