the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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