I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
