There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
