Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry guy4fun hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it

Fav 37 2531 5440
share tweet
(850): View more from Florida

hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.

Fav 44 1338 8190
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.

Fav 8 3433 1384
share tweet
(734): View more from Michigan

Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?

Fav 1 2745 1498
share tweet
(678): View more from Georgia

All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.

Fav 6 1538 1241
share tweet
(330): View more from Ohio

I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.

Fav 4 1931 822
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(631): View more from New York

yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?

Fav 21 3741 1600
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(202): View more from Washington, DC

You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.

Fav 4 692 399
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(802): View more from Vermont

Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy

Fav 2 47 59
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT