He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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