So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
