she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
