Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
