last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
