I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Actions speak louder than pants.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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