My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
