guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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